As I sit here my little baby has the hiccups once again and is swinging sweetly in her swing.. but I'm scared. I'm scared that when the paternity test comes back.. that the birthfather will change his mind. He hasn't signed the papers yet.. his reasoning was because he didn't want his name on anything if she wasn't his. And the paternity test requests already started before he decided that he was okay with the adoption again.
I just look at Emma, and it just scares me to death that she won't stay with us. I was so positive about the phone call last week... and I still am.. it's just all of the what if's. I should take it as a good sign that him and Megan are on speaking terms again. So they must be in agreement, otherwise she wouldn't be speaking to him.
I just feel bad.. I feel bad for Emma.. because I feel like she's not getting my attention 150% like she deserves.. because there is always the thought in the back of my head.. that something is going to happen. I'm just scared.
I know I talk about this a lot.. but these past 3 weeks have been one hell of a rollercoaster.. and I just want it all to be done and over with. I would say by the end of this week or early next week we should have the results of the paternity test.. and then he will sign the papers.
Gotta go.. she's fussin..
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