It all started aggressively earlier this year. Emma's questions, begging and pleading for a brother or a sister. her comments ranged from... "Let's go to the hospital and just pick one!" ... "You can adopt them, just like me!" ... to the more dramatic of "No one wants to be an only child!"
Each time she asked, the answer to her question was consistently... "Prayer!".
I'm going to be real honest here... in hindsight, giving her the answer of prayer on this subject was kind of tongue in cheek for me. Do I believe that God can do whatever He wants to do whenever He wants to do it?! Absolutely! Without a doubt, it never crossed my mind to question that, at least not consciously. But the more she asked... and the more I gave her that answer of "Prayer" - the more I felt like I was leading her on this journey of unanswered prayer... for something that we spent countless days, nights praying for, in the past decade of praying for without an answer to. Except for our answer for her, which is where our prayers to expand our family ultimately ceased. She was our miracle and asking for anything almost seemed greedy at times to me. We were BLESSED. In moments of desperation in where I didn't know if we would ever get our time to be parents, asking for more then one didn't cross my mind often because I wanted to make sure everyone that deserves these miracles that they pray for in the course of infertility are given one.
Through all of that and my subconscious thinking that her prayer would be unanswered in the way of having a brother or sister, I knew that God would put something on her heart to where she would perhaps be led a different way if this one was not possible. So with each question came the consistent answer of prayer. I knew that this was out of my hands, there wasn't anything that I could do to help her through this except for to tell her to pray and to pray with her that the desires of her heart would be answered. Sure I talked to her when she had questions or things she wanted to talk about.. but her desire, I had no answer and no words, and I knew that if anyone did, as always it would be Him. I remember the last time she asked me and I was really frustrated, not with her, but with the question, because I just didn't know what to say anymore. As I started to answer her with a "Well.... " she knew what my answer would be and she said "Ok.. prayer.. but maybe we could have baby puppies or kitties instead" It was in that moment that I knew that she wasn't giving up, but she was going about the way that she had prayed previously for this and in that moment I felt like God was answering her prayer... but us talking about getting a kitty... was more so what I had in mind. ;)
So she prayed. She prayed everyday for this. So the moment that we found out that her prayer had been answered, she had to know! How could I keep this from her? This was God answering Emma's prayer and to withhold that answer from her?! I couldn't do it. Sure I knew that there were risks, there was a ton of risks. I found out I was pregnant at nearly 5 weeks. It was early.. I hadn't even called the doctor yet. But despite all of that.. I knew that if anything were to happen with this pregnancy... we would go through it, together. And if the worst were to happen... I felt like it would all be apart of His master plan on how this was suppose to play out.
So, it was the very next day... Sunday July 1st.. that we told Emma. The night before, I had taken her beads and made her a necklace that said "BIG SISTER". We had some friends in town and we met at the Y to go swimming the afternoon, and we knew that if we didn't want EVERYONE to know, that we would need to wait until after that to tell her.
We had just gotten home from swimming and we were changing and I told Emma that I had something for her. Then, we gave her the necklace. and she read the words "BIG... SIS-TER!" She looked up at us with this look in her eyes... this sparkle. I said do you know that that means?! She had a blank stare on her face and I said "You're going to be a Big Sister! I have a baby in my tummy!" She was ecstatic. Her exact words, I don't even know what they were, but she hugged me a million times over and she was BEAMING with excitement! The rest of the day, pretty much anyone she came into contact with found out, some we anticipated, others we did not, but what were we to do?! Her prayer was answered! Nothing could keep her down!
The power of prayer... from a 6 year old!
You see, I had to embrace the moment and instill in her that when she prays, it's not just words she speaks. It's not just silent whispers in the night... that He IS alive and that He WILL hear your prayers and answer them when the time is right. It might not always be the way that we want it to be, but big or small, He hears us... and He answers us! What a huge lesson and testimony for a 6 year old to witness and have! It is my hope, that in the future when situations arise that she has such strong desires for in her heart... that she is reminded by this situation and knows that with God ALL things are possible and He will NOT leave you or forsake you! The answer may not always turn out to be what YOU had in mind, but there will always be an answer... Trust. Listen. Embrace. You are a child of God!
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