The Undeliverable Birthday Present.

Buying a present that she would've loved - $15.00

Having every intent to wrap it beautifully but end up throwing it in a gift bag - $1.99

Walking down the aisle at work, to my desk to take off my coat with present in hand, and realizing... there's no one to give the present to. - Heartbreaking

So, I think what we'll do... is we'll go buy the present, that she would've loved.. fill it full of the gumballs that she was known for... and set it on the ledge... in memory of her.

That's what I want to do tomorrow, but on a much greater level... this is what I want.

I want to buy a huge gumball machine... yes, you know the one...

you stick your quarter in...

turn the handle....

and off it goes....

your eyes search for it....

around every turn...

following it...

your eyes are going in circles...

all the way down....

and ....

CLINK!

The gumball has arrived. Hooray!

That's what I want. I want a huge gumball machine to put in the breakroom for her honor and albeit $0.25 isn't much, it can add up with huge gumballs... and the proceeds can forever go to her family.

We have very special things planned for tomorrow, in more ways that will make her heart smile then anything else. Many are inside jokes, that very few people have never heard, but... just enough do, to "get it".

I'm looking forward to tomorrow... and although instead of all of these things, I'd rather just have her there to give her the $15 gumball machine that I purchased for her and threw in a bag... just to see the smile on her face... it can't be. I so badly wish that it COULD be, but... instead, we'll remember her the way that she would want us to, and laugh about all the wonderful, beautiful and crazy things she did and was. Why? Because if we don't, we'll forget, and I don't know about you, but I never want to forget.