He wants a parternity test.

Where do I even begin? As I write this tears just fill my eyes.. because I just feel incredibly sick about everything that is going on. The birthfather isn't signing the papers to terminate his rights. Instead. he wants a paternity test done to see if she is really his. He has said to the agency that he is in agreement with the adoption plan.. he just needs to know if she is his or not before he signs his name. It doesn't make a bit of difference if he has it done or not then... as long as he is in agreement. So the question on our minds. WHY? Why have it done then if you're in agreement to the plan? Considering his wife brought in the money for the paternity test today.. hmm.. could she be influencing his decision? The only reason we can come up with for her reasoning to wanting to have it done is that it's something to hold over his head in court if they ever do get divorced. Proof that he was unfaithful during the time they were still married but separated. On his part, honestly, I think he's stupid. It doesn't make. any. sense. for him to have it done.. because the only thing it's going to do for him in the future is screw himself over.

My heart just aches you guys.. I see this little girl just lying there.. and she is mine. she is MINE.. and I cannot imagine my life without her. And the possibility no matter how small it may be.. of her being taken from us.. rips my heart out.

These are the first few days of her life.. She is 9 days old.. and my heart is filled with so much love for her.. I love her to death.. but it's not fair to her to have my mind constantly somewhere else thinking.. "Will she be with us forever?" "Will she have another seizure?"

I'm scared to death and my heart absolutely aches.

Please just pray that this is all the birthfather wants to do.. and his motives are nothing more than confirming the fact that he is the father. Kind of funny.. the Dr's say the seizures are hereditary.. well, I don't know many people who have them... it's a sure sign to me that he is the birthfather.